It is a word that comes up often in coaching and helping people develop a real knowledge of themselves. When we are able to step back from our perceptions and consider other options, we gain the flexibility as people and leaders to deal with a variety of new situations. Here is what it might sound like in a coaching situation.
- Leader: I cannot believe they made that decision without asking. They think they are above process and team, and this action just proves it.
- Coach: What are some other posibilities for their motives?
- Leader: What do you mean?
- Coach: You have years of experience leading and working in a similar situation. How might they view their actions?
- Leader: Well, they have been pushing really hard to solve this problem. We all have actually. This week we did not have our normal leadership team meeting, so they were probably just trying to move things forward.
- Coach: What is another possible motive?
- Leader: Well last month I gave him some feedback around being more decisive and making some difficult decisions. One of the things I have been working on with you is turning my business back over to my team because these last three years have dragged me back into focusing on day to day issues like cash flow and sales, when I need to be more strategic.
- Coach: How has your view of this action changed with this question?
- Leader: I am calmer now, I see some other possibilities, and I realize how I have probably contributed to it.
- Coach: How do you move forward?
Resilience is about Hope > fear + anger + frustration + worry + mistrust + hunger + ________ (you fill in the blank).
Part of resilience as a leader is to step back when we see ourselves feeding the right side of the equation, and seek the Truth before guessing it. When people see us genuinely trying to understand their perspective/truth, the conversation changes. Even in conflict we Build Trust because people see us listening and caring first. This impacts their Resilience equation . . . and so on . . . and so on.
How much energy would this habit save you? Where else could you use it?
I look forward to spending time in Wisconsin with their SHRM members talking about resilience.